Seven Ways to Spend Quality Time With Your Husband

Even if it’s not your primary Love Language, you know it’s important to spend quality time with your husband. That’s how relationships grow and strengthen. But how do you make it happen when you’re both so busy working, managing a house and yard, and raising a family?

It seems life there are never enough hours in the day to accomplish everything we want and need to get done. From the second we wake up in the morning, my husband and I have tons to do before he leaves for work. We have to get ready for the day, get Little Man up and feed him, make breakfast, and of course, chug some coffee.

And when he gets home, there’s more to be done. We have to eat dinner, do the dishes, give the baby a bath and get him to bed, straighten up the house, and maybe watch a little TV to wind down before we head off to bed ourselves. And that’s just on the nights we don’t have anything going on outside the house!

The weekends aren’t much better. There are family events to get to, church and church events, yard work to do, and birthday parties to attend. It’s no wonder that finding ways to spend time together is so hard.

But, after communication, quality time is one of the most important steps to building and maintaining a healthy marriage.

Here are my top seven ways to spend quality time with your husband when you’re both crazy busy.

1. Start mama and daddy time

Basically, mama and daddy time is a few minutes set aside for just the two of you as soon as your husband comes home from work. It doesn’t have to be long, just 10-20 minutes. During this time, place your baby in a safe location (playpen, swing, bouncer, etc.) where he has something to occupy himself with.

The key is to focus only on each other and not get distracted by other things, including the kids. As they get older, you must teach your children that mama and daddy time is important and they should respect it. They need to learn not to interrupt you and your husband as you spend this time together.

Young children want desperately to be the center of your attention at all times. But establishing the importance of mama and daddy time early on teaches them that they are not the center of the universe. This routine shows them that your marriage is a priority, and as they grow, they will model this in their own lives.

Use mama and daddy time to catch up on the events of the day, discuss issues regarding the children, and talk about important topics that may need immediate action. When you rejoin the rest of the family, you will both be on the same page.

2. Establish a nightly routine

After baby goes to bed, it’s easy to zone out to Netflix or smartphones. But if you want to spend quality time with your husband, you have to resist the urge to get lost in those screens. There are many activities you can do together during the few hours before bed.

First, get any and all chores done so you can totally focus on each other. This includes straightening up the house, doing the dishes, and getting things closed up for the night. Next, participate in an activity you can do together like a game or puzzle. While you do this activity, use the time to talk and have fun together.

There’s also something to be said for just being together without talking. Activities include reading, journaling, painting/crafting, etc. Don’t feel like you have to fill the silence with conversation; just enjoy the time together.

Sometimes, it’s been a hard day and you really just want to zone out. In that case, put on Netflix, but make sure you both watch together. This doesn’t mean one of you watches and the other spends time on his or her phone. This is a joint activity!

If you have trouble breaking the screen time habit, set a time limit. For example, designate thirty minutes of phone time, and then follow it with your evening activity. When the time is up, phones get put away and you’re responsible for holding each other accountable.

3. Establish an early-morning routine

I’m writing this to myself as much as I am writing it to you because I am not a morning person at all. I’m super grumpy first thing in the morning and it’s something I am working to change. The thing is, my husband is a morning person and enjoys the quiet before the day starts. Ugh.

Another way to spend quality time with your husband is by starting the day together. If you’re not a morning person, make sure you get a cup of coffee first! Spend some time talking about what you’ve got going on for the day, and do your devotions and prayer together.

If you have time, you can even make breakfast together and eat a quiet meal in peace before the babies wake up. Honestly, that never happens at are house because I’m just not that committed to waking up early. But it’s a good idea, right?

4. Plan a weekly meeting

Unless your an organization nerd like me, this one probably won’t rank too high on the list of ways to spend quality time with your husband, but I think it’s important. Once a week, sit down and spend a few minutes going over the boring (but important) stuff in your life.

Finances

This can just be quick check to see how well you stayed on budget, a look at the budget for the following week, and an evaluation of any outstanding bills that need to be paid. Even if one person is responsible for the household finances, it’s important that both partners know what’s going on so they are on the same page. No one wants any surprises when it comes to finances.

Schedule for the week

Again, this is important to ensure you are both on the same page. Discuss any appointments and commitments you have going on the following week, and make sure you don’t have any conflicts.

The weekly meeting may not sound like a way to spend quality time with your husband, but I promise you it is. During this time, you will learn a lot about each other and grow closer as you figure out life together.

5. Schedule date nights

This one is kind of a given, but it’s super important to date your spouse. There’s nothing like getting out of the house and just focusing on each other without the distraction of kids. I know it seems like a lot of hassle, because you have to first get ready and look presentable, then you have to either find a babysitter, or take your baby to someone’s house. But having that one-on-one quality time with your husband is very important for your marriage.

On date night, do your best to not talk about the kids. This is your time to just focus on each other and nothing else. Talk about the things you’re struggling with, your hopes and dreams, and the things that are going on in your spiritual lives.

6. Plan an at-home date

We have yet to do this since Little Man was born, but it’s definitely on the to-do list. Drop baby off at the grandparents house for the night (once he’s old enough and sleeping through the night, of course) and have an at-home date.

Enjoy a romantic dinner by candlelight with some soft music in the background. If you don’t want to dirty the kitchen (and who does on date night?), just order from your favorite fancy-ish restaurant and eat on that wedding china you never use.

And hey, since you’re kid-free, this is the perfect opportunity to spend some (ahem!) intimate time together. I’m not gonna spell that one out for you; you know what to do. *wink, wink*

7. Schedule a mini vacation or stay-cation

This is another way to get some quality time with your husband. It takes a lot more planning, but it’s definitely worth it. Just get out of town for a couple days (it doesn’t have to be far), or even book a room at a local hotel or bed and breakfast. We did this one year for our anniversary before we had Little Man, and we’ll probably do something similar this year, too.

Time to get to it, mama! You’ve got to spend quality time with your husband, and you have to work together to make it happen. Your quality time doesn’t have to be elaborate, just carve out some time to just be together. And it also doesn’t have to consist of staring into each other’s eyes, either. Occasionally, that quality time means doing some of the boring stuff (like finances). But sharing that responsibility will help both grow and strengthen your marriage.

How do you spend quality time with your husband? Let us know in the comments!