In this day and age, it may be considered politically incorrect to say that wives should be helpers to their husbands. The strong, independent, feminist in me used to shudder at the thought of being “just” a helper to a man. Is that all I’m regulated to? A helper? Yeah, right.
Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (emphasis added). I used to think helper meant that I was supposed to be my husband’s sidekick, his assistant, less important and inferior to him. So what did God mean when He told us wives should be helpers to their husbands?
What being your husband’s helper actually means
When you think of a helper, you generally think of someone who assists another person with a job or task. After all, that’s technically the English definition of the word. But the author of Genesis 2:18 wrote in Hebrew, so it stands to reason that the meaning might be different. Many people incorrectly assume that God meant women are to be subservient to men. But nothing could be further from the truth.
The Hebrew word for helper
The word for helper in Genesis 2:18 is the Hebrew word ‘ezer. After this first occurrence in Scripture, the word appears multiple times throughout the Bible to describe God and how He helps us.
An article by Family Life about a wife’s role in marriage says, “The Hebrew meaning of the word helper in this passage is found hereafter in the Bible to refer only to God as He helps us. The fact that this same word is applied to a wife signifies that we women have been given tremendous power for good in our husbands’ lives. God has designed wives to help their husbands become all that God intends for them to be.”
Wow, that’s a lot of responsibility! That’s a far cry from what I used to think that meant. So wives should be helpers so we can help our husbands be all God wants them to be.
Wives should be helpers like God
I was so excited to discover the reason God said wives should be helpers. It’s such an honor to bear the same title as the Lord Himself. Here are some examples of God’s description as our helper in the Bible and how we as wives can apply it to our marriages.
Help when he needs strength
In Psalm 20:1-2, David writes about seeking the Lord’s help to strengthen in times of trouble. Many times our husbands are weary from the pressures of providing for our families and need encouragement. As his wife, it’s my responsibility to lift my husband up when he is weary (and he does the same for me).
Help in times of trouble
You know that marriage isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. There are times when you and your husband will face trials: financial difficulties, loss of loved ones, infertility, etc. In Psalm 70:5, David asks the Lord to help him in his time of trouble, when he is poor and needy. As we seek to mirror God, wives should be helpers to their husbands when life doesn’t go as planned.
Help to shield him
In Psalm 115:9-11, David instructs Israel to trust in the Lord because He is their help and their shield. Husbands and wives should seek to protect each other, just as the Lord protects us. As we stand together, presenting a united front with God, nothing can stop us.
How to be your husband’s helper
Now that you now that wives should be helpers like God, here are some practical ways you can implement it in your own marriage:
Encourage your husband
As women, it’s so easy to fall into the nagging trap. You know what I’m talking about: always pointing out what your husband isn’t doing, or (in your mind) doing wrong. Instead of nagging, try encouraging your husband and acknowledging his hard work providing for your family and being father to your children.
Respect your husband
In his book Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs states that in a marriage, women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected. Respect your husband as a fellow parent, as your partner in marriage, and as the spiritual leader of your family.
Be proud of your husband
Your husband works hard to provide for your family because he loves you and your babies. Be his helper by telling him how proud you are to be his wife. He doesn’t do it for the praise, but your encouragement means the world to him.
Well, there you go, mama. Now you know why wives should be helpers to their husbands. It’s not that wives are any less than their men. On the contrary, it is a great honor to be you husband’s helper. I encourage you not to take that responsibility lightly, and work to be the best helper you can be.
What do you think about what the Bible says about wives being helpers? Let us know in the comments!
