Bed-sharing is a controversial topic among parents of young babies. Every parent wants to bond with their child, and many believe that bed-sharing is the way to do it. But is it safe?
*Disclaimer: I realize this is a hot-button topic, so I ask that any comments be civil and respectful. Rude, disrespectful comments and those containing vulgar or profane language will be deleted.*
Why bed-sharing is appealing
It’s the middle of the night and you’re up once again to feed your baby. Your little one is warm and snuggly, and you’re just so tired. All you want to do is sleep, so you contemplate keeping your baby in bed with you. You’re going to have to feed him again in a couple hours anyway, right? It would be so much easier to let him sleep with you and feed him without having to get up.
I’m pretty sure every new mom has been there at one point or another. I know I have. Little Man was born in the winter, so the cuddle factor was huge and super tempting. Breastfeeding is hard anyways, but those middle-of-the-night feedings are brutal. My son takes after me in that he loves his sleep, so we had to really work hard to keep him awake long enough to get enough milk.
So by the time we finished one feeding, we had just over an hour until the next one. Talk about two exhausted parents (my hubby is amazing and got up with me for every one of those late-night feedings). I contemplated bed-sharing more times than I can count during those days.
Now Little Man is bigger and super active. He started sleeping through the night at ten weeks (thank you, Babywise), but sometimes I just want to bring him into our bed and let him fall asleep with us.
The dangers of bed-sharing
But I have not and will not give in because I’ve done a lot of research on the dangers of bed-sharing. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, bed-sharing is the greatest risk factor in sleep-related deaths in infants.
Overheating
Babies do not require bundling while sleeping. A swaddle keeps your baby warm enough, even in the winter. When a parent bed-shares with their baby, the little one can easily overheat under the blankets. According to the Mayo Clinic, overheating increases the risk of SIDS.
Suffocation
Suffocation is another reason to skip bed-sharing with your baby. I don’t know many adults who sleep without a blanket or sheet, and those items are very dangerous to babies. Infants are not capable of moving a blanket from their face, and can suffocate if they can’t get it off. Loose sheets and blanks also pose a strangulation threat to infants.
Serious injury
Bed-sharing increases the risk that your baby may sustain a serious injury. Parents who bring their infant into their bed may accidentally roll over them during the night. In addition, the child could roll off the bed, hitting his head and sustaining damage to the brain and/or broken bones.
SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)
According to the Mayo Clinic, SIDS is “the unexplained death, usually during sleep, of a seemingly healthy baby less than a year old.” Every book about babies we read while I was pregnant talked about the dangers of SIDS. It was absolutely terrifying to me because there isn’t a hard and fast explanation of why it happens.
The Mayo Clinic goes on to say, “While the risk of SIDS is lowered if an infant sleeps in the same room as his or her parents, the risk increases if the baby sleeps in the same bed with parents, siblings or pets.”
Other issues related to bed-sharing
In addition to being dangerous, bed-sharing creates additional problems. When it’s time to transition the child to her own room, she will have a much harder time if she shared your bed than if she slept in her own bassinet or other sleeping area because she is used to being next to you.
Bed-sharing also puts strain on your marriage because you do not have time alone with your husband. Because of this, one or both of you could subconsciously resent the baby, which is not good for anybody.
Both you, your spouse, and the baby will sleep much better without bed-sharing. Instead of worrying that you might roll over on your baby, you will sleep comfortably knowing he is safe in his bassinet or crib.
When Little Man was a tiny baby, I was so afraid of falling asleep while nursing him that on multiple occasions, I woke my husband in a panic, truly believing that he had rolled off the bed. My poor husband, half-asleep, had to first figure out that it was all in my head and then reassure me that our baby was indeed safe in his bassinet beside us.
Mama, far be it from me to tell you how to raise your child. But please consider the unnecessary risks that bed-sharing brings to your sweet baby. There are so many other ways you can bond with your little one, so I hope you consider them instead of bed-sharing. This one choice could mean the difference between life and death or serious injury. I know you absolutely don’t want any harm to come to your sweet one, so weigh the risks carefully.
