Alright mama, you have a beautiful, brand-new baby and you’re wondering how on earth you will ever keep up with your household while you’re sleep deprived, learning how to breastfeed, and adjusting to this new life. It can be overwhelming and maybe you feel like you’re in over your head. Well, fear not, because I’m here to help you learn how to manage household chores as a new mom. These are a few things I wish someone would have told me (or advice I wish I would have listened to) during my first couple months as a new mom.
First, don’t worry about chores in the beginning
When I came home from the hospital with Little Man, I took one look around my house and decided it was nowhere near clean enough for my brand-new bundle of joy. Looking back, it wasn’t even that bad. Sure, we weren’t quite as prepared as I would have liked because Little Man came nine days early, but it wasn’t like things were in shambles.
But my new mama heart could not stand even the sight of a little dust or clutter around my precious new angel. Despite recovering from a C-section, I immediately got to work cleaning and organizing nearly every room in my house. And, you guessed it, I overworked myself and ended up pretty much confined to the couch for several days .
Your priority is the baby and your recovery
I don’t need to tell you that giving birth is hard work. Whether you received the pain meds or went completely natural, delivered vaginally or by cesarean, labored for three hours or forty-eight, having a baby wrecks havoc on your body. And that’s not something you can bounce back from in a day.
Not to mention, you’re responsible for a tiny, helpless human being who’s completely dependent on you for everything. If that’s not stressful, I don’t know what is. There’s so much to learn! If this is your first go around, the learning curve is steep. Between diapering, feeding every few hours, trying to get your little one to sleep, you probably feel like you’re in over your head.
I think with everything spinning a little out of control, I felt like cleaning my house was the one thing I could control. And that’s probably why I threw myself into it with such gusto. But honestly, since learning to manage household chores as a new mom, I wish I would have slowed down and just let myself recover. I did slow down eventually, but only after I was doubled over in pain from my C-section incision and could barely walk. Don’t be like me! You have to allow yourself time to heal, otherwise you won’t be any good to anyone.
When learning to manage household chores as a new mom, remember you’re priority is your new baby and recovering from childbirth. Everything else must take the back burner. It won’t always be that way, but for right now, you need to chill out. Treasure the moments you spend holding your little one instead of worrying about the dishes in the sink. The dishes will always be there, but your baby won’t be this little forever. Looking back, those moments holding Little Man as he fell asleep are what I remember, not my unswept floors.
“Oh, just sleep when the baby sleeps”
I fully intended to follow this advice when I had Little Man. However, no one told me it was easier said than done. For his first month or so, the doctors wanted him to eat every two hours so he would gain enough weight. Well, you have to factor in that breastfeeding is hard and can take anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour in the beginning. So by the time you feed, change the diaper, and get baby to sleep, you literally have less than an hour before you have to get him up and do it all over again.
To me, it wasn’t worth it. I’d rather do a load of laundry in that brief hour than try to fall asleep. I really do wish I was one of those people who can take naps and wake up feeling refreshed, but I just feel groggy and usually end up with a headache. So there were very few times I actually followed the “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice.
Where there a couple months that I was running on fumes? You betcha! Were there times I had no idea what day it was because I hadn’t slept more than a few hours? Um, yeah. But it was a season. We began sleep training when Little Man was a month old and by ten weeks, he was sleeping through the night and we got caught up on sleep.
I do recommend you try to sleep when the baby sleeps; it just didn’t work for me.
Second, accept help from others
Little Man was born right before Christmas, and I had (thankfully) put all my decorations up before he made his appearance. However, after the holidays were over, my house started looking pretty rough. The cats knocked some of the ornaments off the tree (thankfully they’re plastic), the tree itself was pretty much dead and dropping needles right and left, there were dust bunnies the size of small rabbits in the corners, and I was about to lose my mind.
I’m a little neurotic about having other people see my house when it’s not “presentable” (see this post about how I’m working on it). So the last thing I wanted was for someone to come over to help me clean. I’m not kidding, I had serious anxiety about it. But my mom is an angel and she pretty much told me to get over it because she was coming over to help me with the chores and bringing dinner to boot (she actually did this a few times). It was so nice to have help getting all those things done. And the best part is that we got to visit while we worked!
So when balancing household chores as a new mom, if someone offers to help you clean your house, take them up on it. They wouldn’t offer if they didn’t mean it. And they aren’t going to judge you for the shape your house is in; you just had a baby for crying out loud!
Third, get back on track (when you’re ready)
Once you kind of get the hang of new mommyhood (I realize this is hilarious because I don’t think we ever really “get the hang of” it), get back on track at a comfortable pace. Once again, I’m telling you this from my own personal mistakes.
My husband took a month off work when Little Man was born (huge blessing!). The day he went back I thought, Okay, now I have to prove myself worthy of staying home. So I proceeded to go crazy with the chores once again, and once again, I overdid it and set myself back. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself!
Make a plan
You know me, I’m all about making plans, and a plan for managing household chores as a new mom was no exception. Make a list of all the things that need to be done, and then circle the three most important things. Those three things are your tasks for the day. If you finish and still have time, check the list and see what else you can get done. The next day, circle the next three most important things and work on those, and so on until your list is complete.
Once you complete all the things on your list, your house should look pretty great again. The next step is to put a plan in place so it stays that way. Create a cleaning schedule helps me stay on track. For example, on Mondays I do laundry and declutter from the weekend. Tuesdays I clean things in the kitchen. Wednesdays and Thursdays are dusting, sweeping, and cleaning bathrooms. I try to have everything done by Friday so we don’t have to worry about it on the weekend.
Sometimes, you need to do a quick clean in between deep cleanings. Ruth Soukup over at Living Well Spending Less has a fantastic Speed Cleaning Checklist that’s great for times like that, particularly when you need to prepare for unexpected guests (and if you’re as neurotic about it as I am!).
Make it a lifestyle
Once you find your routine for household chores as a new mom, stick with it as best as you can. Do your best to stay true to the chores schedule and hopefully your house will always be in decent shape. The important thing is, don’t try to be perfect. There will be days when you won’t finish everything you wanted to. And there will be times when cuddling with your baby is way more important than dusting the mantle.
Don’t worry, mama. You’ll get there! Right now, focus on that sweet bundle of joy and don’t freak out if the floor hasn’t been mopped in a while. As your baby grows and you get more accustomed to life as a new parent, you will slowly get your organized house back and learn to manage household chores as a new mom.
