As a mom, it’s easy to let your kids become the most important part of your life. But did you know that (after God), your relationship with your husband should come first? It’s so easy to lose sight of you marriage when you have a baby, but that’s when you should be working on it the most.
The order of things
The Bible lays out a plan on how we are supposed to prioritize our lives: God first, spouse second, children third, job fourth, and everything else after that. Though this makes sense on paper, implementing it is a lot harder than it sounds.
God
If you are a fellow Christian, you know that your relationship with God should come before anything else in your life. It is your top priority and the relationship that you cultivate and develop before all others.
Marriage
Your relationship with your husband is the most important relationship on this earth. He’s your partner for life and no other person is more important than he is. And the same is true of him: his relationship with you is the most important, after his personal relationship with God, of course.
Kids
Our relationships with our children are next in the order of importance. They are the future of this world, and it’s our responsibility to raise them to be good leaders. Our babies don’t have spouses yet, so their relationship with Mom and Dad is the most important, after God.
Job
If you work, whether from home or otherwise, your job should come after your family. I know it’s tempting to put work first because your family needs money to have a roof over their heads and food on the table. But remember, you can’t take anything to heaven except for people.
Everything else
Everything else in your life comes after the things listed above. This includes friends, other relatives, volunteer work, hobbies, activities, etc. It’s very important to keep things in the right order as God intended it.
Why marriage should come before kids
It can be tough, especially as a new mom, to not put your baby before your relationship with your husband. That tiny baby is dependent on you for everything, and it’s easy to let that bundle of joy consume every aspect of your life. But, in keeping with the correct order of things, your marriage should come before your babies.
You’re a team
You and your hubby chose each other as partners for life. That’s shouldn’t change when you bring a baby into the mix. A married couple doesn’t refer to a husband, wife, and baby. No, it means just a husband and wife. There is no way that you can be a good parent if you’re not a good spouse first. Your marriage relationship needs to be solid so you can both learn to be the best parents you can as a team. You have to be on the same page, and you get that way by cultivating and maintaining your marriage.
You’re the example
Here’s a sobering thought: your children will likely model their future relationships and marriage after that of their parents. Are you setting a good example of the correct order of things? Children are much happier when their parents’ marriage is strong because it provides a level of security. They know they can count on their mom and dad because Mom and Dad count on each other.
Kids need to know that they are not the center of the universe. And teaching them that truth starts at a very young age. By putting your relationship with your husband first, you teach your children to respect that relationship. And even though they may not like it sometimes, it’s ultimately what’s best for them.
Ways to put your marriage first
So now you know why your relationship with your husband should be a priority, but how can you actually implement it?
Spend time together
This seems like a no-brainer, but I’m sure you know how easy it is to get so caught up in day-to-day life that you fail to spend enough time with your spouse. Talk about your hopes and dreams, what you’re thinking and feeling, and things you’re struggling with.
Date each other
Remember dating? All that fun and romance shouldn’t end just because you have children. Keep that magic alive by dating your spouse.
Be affectionate
Again, putting your relationship with your husband first is intentional. There have been times when my husband and I are so busy that we barely share a quick kiss on the cheek as he heads out the door for work. Not good! We recognize that we have to try harder to be affectionate in our relationship.
So get to work, mama! Put your relationship with your husband first: before the kids, before your job or volunteer work, and before everything else. He’s your partner, and he deserves it. You both are responsible for setting the example of a godly marriage to your kids. Make sure they grow up knowing the importance of adhering to the correct order of things.
What are some ways you put your relationship with your husband first? Let us know in the comments!
